While going through my Twitter feed I saw a tweet that read: “Friends are either for a reason, a season or a lesson…..”
This explained what I recently went through. An ex-friend texted me to ask why I was punishing them with my silence. I was shocked that this person thought my silence was some kind of punishment as I knew that our friendship had ended more than a year ago and I let it go. One might think I am the type that can easily walk away from friendships that were no longer mutual and as I get older I will admit that I am able to do that. However, it has not always been like this.
I had a friend in High School who I was very close to. Our friendship never had too many lows. She had such a big heart and when I moved to South Africa she helped me find my way the first few months because she was the only person I knew there and I had a blast. However, before the end of the first semester we had a fallout, personally I didn’t think it was a major thing, to cut a long story short, hurtful words were thrown around and that was the end of a 7 year friendship. A part of me knew that things will never be the same again because it’s always hard to forget hurtful words. A few months after the fallout I reached out and tried to fix things because I truly missed my friend. I later realized there was nothing to fight for and this was a battle I had to let go of and move on. I grieved over the loss of a friendship. It marks almost 5 years since I last spoke or saw my ex-friend and today I can call her that, someone I used to know and not miss her because now I realize that like the tweet read, friends have different purposes in ones life. This is my take on what I learned from the friendship:
A seasonal friend is one that comes into your life, sometimes this person becomes more than a friend, they become family. You might share years of good memories but when that season is over, as hard as it might seem, you need to mourn the loss of the friendship and move on. It does not mean you are bad people, no, it might just mean you are not featured in the next chapter of each other’s book of life as the purpose of your friendship has been fulfilled.
I have since lost a few friends after that and instead of fretting about it, I treasure the good memories, look at the purpose they had in my life, wish them all the best in all their future endeavors and let them go.