Chronicles of a Recovering People Pleaser: Fibs
It is one of the little secrets most people pleasers won’t admit to but it is an everyday thing and they all go through it. The little secret is that the fact that most people pleasers tell fibs. Im calling it a fib because they are suppose to be unimportant. Just little lies to make the next person happy because after all that is the people pleasers main aim – PLEASE AT ALL COST.
These fibs have no malicious intent, however, the next person will not look at it that way. This quickly turns ugly when the lies become part of the person’s life that they end up lying about everything – even the tiniest things. We create a web innocently that ends up hurting the same people we are trying to please so much. Seeing the person we want to please hurt in turn makes us want to rectify this and try harder. As you can imagine this is very exhausting. This is a cycle that never ends. I found myself in this situation recently when I was on the phone with my Sigother. I dozed off while he was talking for about 15 minutes. Instead of telling him as soon as he called me that I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep but instead I kept quiet. I suddenly woke up when he was trying to get a response out of me. I told him my mind drifted away. Which isn’t really a fib because it drifted into dreamland. Lol.
I am now so conscious of the fibs I say just to please the next person. People pleasers will be a lot happier if they just learned to say No.