Chronicles of a Recovering People Pleaser Part 1

Chronicles of a Recovering People Pleaser | TheCusiousGeminiBeing a people pleaser can be exhausting and for the longest time I was exhausted and very grumpy as a result of this. It is exhausting because all you do is give give give give even during times when it is not necessary to give. Yes becomes the most spoken word even during times when a No is the best answer.

It just recently occurred to me that I have kept some people around that I thought were friends  not realizing that my need to be accepted and being a people pleaser had blinded me to the real role these people played in my life.  I started recounting past interactions with my “acceptance dealers”. My role in their lives was that I was an enabler, I allowed myself to be their negative emotion sponge, that reliable friend who will always be there. Looking back I don’t blame them but myself.

As I look back and think about a text I got from one of my ‘acceptance dealer’ I am glad I finally realized that the only person I need to be pleasing is me, myself and I. I thought I was being caring but I took it too far and ignored taking of me. This might sound selfish but I strongly believe in balanced self-love and you can’t give what you don’t have.

 

I have since added a few Noes to a lot of my conversations, and I have never felt so much lighter, happier and free in a long time.

2 Comments

  1. Chronicles of a Recovering People Pleaser Part 2

    August 15, 2016 at 4:15 pm

    […] new truths that feel right for me. I have shared in the first part of these series about my inability to say No and how I am learning to say those two letters without feeling bad. As I dig deeper, I am surprised […]

  2. Chronicles of a Recovering People Pleaser: Boundries - TheCuriousGemini

    June 2, 2017 at 2:40 pm

    […] healthy personal boundaries. It started with me learning how to say no, I wrote about it in the first part of this series. I’m now learning  about personal boundaries and it is so liberating. […]

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